On Boredom & Week 3 of 52
“Don’t just stand there, do something.”
—Me to my husband whenever we’re about to have company
“Don’t just do something, stand there.”
—Very privileged people and The White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland
I watched my ego, and it seemed to dissolve. Then it came back to demand I pay attention to it, which I did, and it dissolved. The past week has been interesting, and this is the line of thinking it led me to:
I am always busy, and I am always starting new things. And I’ve long said this is because I am easily bored. It’s partly true.
Those of us who stay busy might do so to avoid things, but we also love the movement and flow and noise and learning. We want to experience life … ALL of life.
And yet, to experience it all is often to remain bored. Why?
As a walking sequence of recessive genes (see: redhead, short, etc), I like the science that tells me the capacity to get bored will help me survive. And yet, if I’m being honest, it feels habitual.
Even when I meditate, I generally go for the busier meditations.
Think chanting, listening to drums, pranayama, or—best—guided meditations that give me a steady voice or story to focus on. These practices have changed my life. They’re powerful.
But … as I move into Week 3 of living as though this year were my last, I can’t help but feel called to something I haven’t done in over a decade: silent, daily meditation.
No music, no guidance, no dogma, no help, no distraction. Just me and my (gasp!) thoughts.
It’s hard, friends. It’s hard.
Silent meditation is not for everyone; it’s confrontational. All the noise from the day bobs to the surface, but so do the aches and pains, the suppressed feelings, the avoidance, the conversations that should’ve been had.
The practice only seems quiet and still.
“All things flow, nothing abides.” — Heraclitus
As I continue to practice, I realize there is no stillness. But I also realize there is no boredom, not when we’re paying attention.
In fact, to sit still with attention means it is impossible to be bored. And perhaps the boredom I referred to amid my busyness is something else entirely. Something more akin to avoidance.
This week, therefore, is about confrontation. Listening. Within. Maybe even releasing some of whatever it is I’ve been avoiding.
I’ll let you know how it goes. And let me know how this goes for you. (Again, friends, it’s hard. But worth it.)
Writing Prompt:
Write about a person trying to avoid or lie about something (there are plenty of real-world examples, but fiction might be fun) and how that pans out for them.
AYTL Prompt:
It’s Week 3 of 52. Here is the full challenge if you need to catch up. Where in life are you bored? Where are you not paying attention? What’s beneath this?
For me, it’s avoidance. For you, maybe not. But reflecting on the areas of life where we go numb or “check out” is an interesting experiment.
Since establishing my regimen of meditation I never experience boredom. In regards to AYTL, I hope to continue practicing mindfulness until my final awareness.
Bordeom is tough. Sometimes I crave to be "bored." Other times I'm haunted by boredom. (I should be writing, I should be producing, I should be... something!) I have to re-learn to be bored each time.