On buying the flowers

this post has very little to do (and everything to do) with writing

“The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.”

— Dalai Lama

I appreciate you, whether I know you personally or not. I appreciate that you are investing time and attention to sit and read. Thank you for exploring the world with me through the lens of words and ideas.

And on that note, I appreciate all of the positive and influential people in my life. The teachers, family, friends, and all those who model the personal and relational leadership I hope to one day embody. I appreciate those who challenge me and urge me to question my limited ideas so that I can continue to grow—those who keep me from dogma or stagnancy.

Photo by Ryunosuke Kikuno

As you well know if you read this blog or speak with me regularly, the direction of the online landscape disturbs me because I see so many humans adopting personas and rushing to be seen, piggybacking on others, copying ideas without attribution (even on a small scale), making transactional connections, and then rushing past each other in person.

So many think they’ve invented the wheel that was rolled their way and rush to show off the “creations” they are in a position to purchase.

I recently wrote an article on the call for servant leaders for my day job. It’s a bit of a dig on hierarchies in politics, academia, and beyond; but, I think in writing it I also opened up a topic I can’t quite close the lid on. At least in my own mind. While many take for granted those who are accountable, consistent, and supportive in their lives, there is great benefit to us all in recognizing these people and recognizing them loudly.

If we reframe the way we look at our lives, even just today, and we look to the places where we can express appreciation to and for other humans and identify all the people we have to be grateful for, we can pull back power from those who thrive on chaos and destruction.

The people we look up to or take for granted are often under massive pressure and need our support to remain as strong as they are. In honor of International Women’s Day, you can probably take a beat to think of a few women who gave thanklessly or whose innovations were trumpeted by someone else. Sure, we’ve framed people who give without praise in our minds as servant leaders or humble leaders; mentors or artistic innovators, but so long as they are human, they still need to be uplifted and supported.

Anyway, I say all this to say that I am consciously taking the next few days to think about and pay homage to those who have uplifted me and challenged me to be better. I invite you to do the same. Receive their gifts (and all the gifts) with open arms. Receive them without shame or the wasteful emotions that surround guilt.

But also send those you see as under-recognized unexpected thanks and, more, do so publicly. Appreciate them in loud and reverberating ways.

My call to action stems from my personal belief that the only way we will change the course of the current trends of placing the loudest few at the helm is to begin to recognize those quietly strong mentors, artists, and friends. As a friend of mine, Jackiethia Butch, recently said, “I’m not waiting till someone dies to give her flowers.”

So again, no matter what you are going through, I appreciate you, and thank you for slowing down with me once a week. Your attention and exchange is a gift I receive with open arms.

If you enjoy this blog and stories, please let me know by subscribing, responding below, or sharing what you are inspired by with attribution. In gratitude, Jen