On celebration
I have never been good at celebrating accomplishments. Usually, when things go well, I feel a quick rush of joy and then simply move on.
Not long ago, I was thinking about how much I had to celebrate, but instead of enjoying the feeling, I immediately busied myself with the next project. I don’t think this is uncommon. People, writers I happen to know especially, do not stop to celebrate their successes. And all too often, we don’t celebrate others.
With this in mind, I recently asked my students to reflect on a leader they admire. I told them it could be a parent, a teacher, a business or community leader—any person the respective student knew.
They wrote without hesitation and shared stories in class.
Assignment Part 1: Write two paragraphs about someone you know who inspires you and demonstrates personal leadership skills you admire.
When I told them there was a part two to the assignment, they got ready to write again. But when I told them what I wanted them to do next, they looked around at each other and smiled nervously. There was the collective sense of being on a roller coaster, about to tip over the apex and feel the rush of gravity.
Assignment Part 2: Text, email or call that person. Let them know that they’ve positively influenced your life and that you appreciate them. Do not ask them for anything. Just say thank you.
I’ve given this assignment before in different contexts. Sometimes I tell emerging writers to share appreciation with authors. But this is somewhat self-serving if the author is trying to network. Also, sometimes people do this just to endear themselves (Samuel Johnson: “He who praises everybody praises nobody”). But what about the people who have already given or inspired, from whom you have nothing to gain … who you merely appreciate?
For the first time, I had the thought that maybe I should do what I expected of them. I emailed a mentor from my young adulthood and thanked her for being a light in my life when I was an emotionally and mentally fragile mess. My stomach dropped as I hit send on the email, and I was confused by my own nervous energy. Not much makes me nervous anymore, but sending that email made me feel oddly vulnerable.
Those who positively influence us (especially without reciprocation) are human too. We need to celebrate them. And celebrate ourselves and our own efforts, for that matter. My email was answered promptly with appreciation and a note of surprise. And I realize that any time a student emails me out of the blue with a thank-you message, I feel the same. It’s not the norm.
So if you’re here reading this, thank you for your time and attention. Your presence. Secondly, why not do this yourself?
Even if it is the norm for you to show appreciation, is there someone underappreciated in your life? Someone who could use a little acknowledgment?
It’s remarkable to me how much more inclined I am to celebrate my own wins when I can celebrate others.
What’s coming? I have another short podcast series coming up for subscribers and quite a lot of BIG writing news. In the meantime, celebrate, friends! Yourselves and others.
xo
