On creative devotion & week 17 of 52

with added commentary, after my confidence took a hit

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I was once told that devotion is more important than focus or goal setting because devotion is something we can practice every day—through the highs and lows.

Creative devotion (which I previously broached with my post on “creative confidence”) mirrors our beliefs and subsequent actions. This topic is imperative for writers, myself included, who have discouraging days.

My personal discouragement story goes like this: A VERY credible and successful literary agent said she “loved” my essay collection and found it “special” but worried she couldn’t sell it because at least 1 of the “Big 5” publishers required a minimum of 100,000 followers across social media platforms for creative nonfiction projects.

I have about 10,000 connections online, and most of my followers are on Insight Timer and Aura, so I’m nowhere near that. To emphasize how much she wanted to work with me (?) and maybe make me feel better, this agent suggested I set the goal of getting to 50,000 followers, and she’d help me with the rest.

I know me, and I know this will never be a goal of mine. If I reach 50,000 followers in my lifetime, it will be because the book came first or it just happens.

Discouragement comes in myriad forms. It’s not just being told that you need a prefab audience. Some writers take hits because we feel we should be creating more, others wonder if writing even matters in a time of automation and acceptable plagiarism. Still other writers and artists believe they don’t have time to create and release what they take in.

"On the one side were techno-optimists who foresaw a utopian future. AI would eliminate workplace drudgery, diagnose diseases more effectively than doctors could, and save humanity from one of its most loathed burdens: paying writers for anything, ever." —Brian Phillips

Whatever the source of our discouragement, we must believe in ourselves and our messages to practice creative devotion. When we start putting pressure on ourselves (or feel external pressure) to meet unrealistic timelines or compete with others (or hit x # of followers), it seems the work responds with rebellion.

“As any classically trained singer or actor can tell you, trying to make your voice sound like someone else’s can do all manner of damage to it.”

—Lauren Elkin

So here we are.

Individually, we can’t change larger trends or industry standards, and many don’t have the luxury to create more time, but we can change our mindset about the whole deal. Easy to say, I know. But this is why fostering creative devotion is the order of the day.

We should all acknowledge that we live in a time that pressurizes artists and tries to diminish contributions by replicating them en masse. Got it, got it! but! Here’s my message to counter such perspectives. If you hit a wall, try these reframes:

• The lack of creative intellectual property (IP) or the prevalence of AI can force us to adopt the “write for myself” mindset.

• Lack of time might add momentum if it is not forced.

• Thinking we should be creating more might mean we believe we have more to give.

• There is only one of us, and the only true way of wasting time is by trying to be like someone else.

And if the reframes aren’t enough for you, here’s a firm pep talk I used in my confidence post.

Stop wasting time trying to become what and who you already are.

You are where you need to be. You are creating what you are supposed to be creating, and you are creating it at the perfect pace and in a way that will allow the result to find its ideal timeline and audience—be that small or large, be that what you think will meet your current expectations or not. Despite what you sometimes think, you are on the right track, and it matters, and it matters in the way it should. Share your messages in the way you are sharing them, not from a place of pressure or guilt or fear or competition or even urgency. Share what you are called to share and nothing more.

Again, stop wasting time trying to become what and who you already are.

This is a bit of self-talk, but I thought I’d share it here with the intuition that it might resonate with a few of you. Yes, our voices matter, but perhaps the more important message is that we will say exactly what we need to say and release what we observe in our own time. We must remember not to get in our own way or psyche ourselves out.

AYTL prompt: In the week ahead, wherever and whenever you feel small or marginalized, or left out, meet that feeling by doubling down on your devotion. Reminding yourself that it’s not about setting goals and hitting metrics (the needle always moves) but devoting today to what matters.