Maybe the work is not to pretend the fear is irrational, but to stop letting it be the editor, publicist, security guard, and tiny exhausted CEO of the whole operation.. Love this article!
I relate to so much of what you say here. Although I do think that even when the inner critic is right - she often needs an update. Maybe my inner critic is meaner than yours, but she is absolutely wrong a lot of the time. And yet, her aim is always to protect me from ridicule and disapproval. So with that goal, she gets it right in trying to get me to stay small.
They can be so mean, Sarah! Mine is wrong so much of the time, too. I feel like the line between instinct and fear is always a tough one to decipher. One thing I believe is that none of us are small. We're just told to believe that.
"I dislike promotion because I find people who constantly promote themselves annoying" — I read that line three times.
I've been writing publicly for seven weeks. The writing part feels authentic. The promotion part feels like I'm putting on a costume that doesn't quite fit. And yet without it, the writing just sits there, unread, which defeats the whole point.
What I'm slowly working out: there might be a difference between promoting yourself and simply making yourself findable. I haven't fully resolved it yet. But I'm less willing to use the discomfort as a reason to stay invisible.
You illustrate the performative nature of promo well, but it seems a necessary thing to do. I do think we can be authentic and share the value without "selling" but it's hard because sales tactics are based in psychology and they work. That said, and maybe this is a different post, the people whose stories endure are those who don't do the typical sales but rather get behind something they truly believe in. Then it's less about sales and more about simply sharing your joy and your gifts.
"Sharing your joy and your gifts" — that's the reframe I needed. The discomfort might be a signal I haven't fully believed in it yet, not that promotion is the wrong move.
I love this so much, Jen. Thank you for shining a light on the cognitive dissonance of promotion/annoyance. In the end, as you say, "the only truth we can afford to focus on is the value of our personal perspective in the world. The value of that perspective finding who it needs to find." Thank you, and write on, sister!
Maybe the work is not to pretend the fear is irrational, but to stop letting it be the editor, publicist, security guard, and tiny exhausted CEO of the whole operation.. Love this article!
Indeed!!! Mine makes an especially horrible security guard. :)
I relate to so much of what you say here. Although I do think that even when the inner critic is right - she often needs an update. Maybe my inner critic is meaner than yours, but she is absolutely wrong a lot of the time. And yet, her aim is always to protect me from ridicule and disapproval. So with that goal, she gets it right in trying to get me to stay small.
They can be so mean, Sarah! Mine is wrong so much of the time, too. I feel like the line between instinct and fear is always a tough one to decipher. One thing I believe is that none of us are small. We're just told to believe that.
"I dislike promotion because I find people who constantly promote themselves annoying" — I read that line three times.
I've been writing publicly for seven weeks. The writing part feels authentic. The promotion part feels like I'm putting on a costume that doesn't quite fit. And yet without it, the writing just sits there, unread, which defeats the whole point.
What I'm slowly working out: there might be a difference between promoting yourself and simply making yourself findable. I haven't fully resolved it yet. But I'm less willing to use the discomfort as a reason to stay invisible.
You illustrate the performative nature of promo well, but it seems a necessary thing to do. I do think we can be authentic and share the value without "selling" but it's hard because sales tactics are based in psychology and they work. That said, and maybe this is a different post, the people whose stories endure are those who don't do the typical sales but rather get behind something they truly believe in. Then it's less about sales and more about simply sharing your joy and your gifts.
"Sharing your joy and your gifts" — that's the reframe I needed. The discomfort might be a signal I haven't fully believed in it yet, not that promotion is the wrong move.
I love this so much, Jen. Thank you for shining a light on the cognitive dissonance of promotion/annoyance. In the end, as you say, "the only truth we can afford to focus on is the value of our personal perspective in the world. The value of that perspective finding who it needs to find." Thank you, and write on, sister!
I'm so grateful to know you, Nancy. Thank you for pulling out the essence of what I was trying to get at. xo